Hello and welcome to a version of reality that gets weirder by the day!

Since most of us are spending a lot of time alone with our hands (you can go ahead and make some jokes here but I won’t), why not take the opportunity to take a closer look and learn a little beginner palmistry? You can gain some insight on yourself for now, and you’ll have a cool party trick for when parties are legal again, whenever that day comes.

When reading palms we typically read the dominant hand. Can you believe the image above started as an honest attempt to trace my hand? I have stiletto shaped nails right now and I am deeply thankful for every day they’re still looking good and intact! (Insert vigorous knocking on wood here. I got them done at the beginning of March, and who knows when nail salons are reopening?) Anyway, my trace ended up goofy and very pointy so I went with it and exaggerated it into some kind of demon hand. Make no mistake, there are no demons to be found here except for your personal ones. (Wink.)

Please note that this is a very cursory introductory class in palmistry and that I by no means am offering all that is to be known here. Every little crease, bump, and wrinkle in the hands could be said to tell a story, but today we are going to focus on the basics so you can take a quick glance at anybody’s hand, including your own, and instantly know in a general sense what the fuck is up. (But do it from a safe distance, and don’t go around casually touching people’s hands, please. You know how things are with hands and germs these days. Maybe just do your own and have your friends call their palms in using Zoom?)

Before reading the palm, you can take a look at the other aspects of the hands:

Shape: Soft curved shapes and delicate looking hands generally represent a gentleness, delicateness, softness, and emotional intelligence, someone who is a dreamer; thicker, firmer, sturdier looking hands and fingers that may be made up of more square or rectangular shapes indicate someone who is grounded, rooted in the physical world and ready to take action, someone who is a “doer.” Basically, what do those hands look like they could do? (Hey.)

Nails: Wider nails indicate endurance and physical energy; slimmer nails are said to indicate being well-liked for one’s cheerfulness and childlike spirit. Long nails are associated with creativity – being able to dream up possibilities in life that others may never have imagined – and short nails can mean you are busy and productive, capable of working tirelessly to achieve whatever you need to.

There is so much more to learn about all the features of the hands and their hidden meanings, so I encourage you to look into this more if you find it interesting! I am referencing Judith Hipskind’s How to Read Palms for this article, and highly recommend you check it out for the full lowdown. For now, let’s move on to the lines in the palms! In general, softer lines in hands indicate a softer nature, while more firm lines indicate intensity. You can use my freakish diagram above for reference on these four main lines:

The heart line: Running across your palm from the outside edge of your hand to somewhere under your index or middle finger, the heart line describes your emotions. The longer the heart line, the more intense your passion and devotion are in love. You are affectionate and live for love. If this line ends closer to the middle of your hand, you are realistic in your expectations of love. If the line is short, you are not always patient in love. A curved line indicates someone who is more open and enthusiastic in their affection, and a straighter line means you are more reserved with your emotions.

The life line: Contrary to popular belief, this line will not reveal exactly how long you will live, but it does offer some indication as to your physical strength and health. This one circles the thumb. If this line goes down far to the bottom of your hand, you are blessed with natural energy and vitality. You’re still chill if your line stops short, but this indicates a need to remind oneself to take care of one’s physical health, diet, exercise, etc. A wide curve indicates an outgoing extrovert, while a slimmer curve suggests you may require more quality time alone. If you have a double life line it is said to mean you can recuperate from any illness. And if the line stops halfway down, breaks, and restarts, this generally indicates a big move at some point that alters the course of your life.

The head line: This line indicates your self-motivation, confidence, and independence. It begins at the start of the palm under the index finger and runs across to somewhere under the ring finger or all the way to the opposite side of the hand. The distance between the start of the head line and the start of the life line indicates your confidence; more distance means you’re more bold when trying things, while closer or touching lines mean you are more cautious. A longer head line indicates being interested in and informed in a variety of subjects, successful in many areas. A shorter line can mean you are more of a specialist and prefer to pour your energy into one thing at a time. If this line is curved, you have imagination; if it is straight, you are calculated and logical. If yours has a bit of both, congratulations, you are flexible in both areas! Lastly, if this line stays high up on the hand, you are likely to have more business sense. A head line that dips low means you’re a bit of a romantic, aren’t you?

The fate line: Relax, you’re not a victim to fate; the fate line describes, as Hipskind describes it, “what we create with our own efforts and responses to challenge and opportunity.” It runs vertically from beneath the middle finger to the start of the palm. This line can be split to indicate “our shifting fortunes,” or different phases of our life. Splits can indicate moves, career changes, or big decisions that change your life. The more firmly etched areas indicate our successes, while the more gently etched areas are times of development.

One more fun thing to look for: the mystic cross! Located between your heart and head line around the center of the palm, a cross here indicates you have a strong intuitive sense. Do you have one, or two even? (They can appear on one or both hands.) I just realized I do!

Aww, it was fun to brush up on palmistry on a random weekday evening! And now you can say you’ve picked up a new esoteric skill! Although it does make me wonder when the next time will be that I’ll touch a hand that isn’t my own. But hey, when that day comes, I’ll be ready!